Mastering Your Mind
The most important and impactful accomplishment you can and will ever achieve in your lifetime is the Mastery over your own mind. Now, what exactly does that mean? Well, if you’re not a serial killer or addicted to eating cigarette buds you are on the right track. And though I joke, there are people like that. More importantly, because most people have blended superbly into this massive conglomerate we call a society, normality has tricked us into thinking that we are some how sane.
Are you crazy for living a normal life? Of course not, but I do find it crazy that we pretend that all of our decision-making has been exactly what we intended on choosing to do and act every time we have been given the opportunity to take advantage of free will. That is until we get caught for doing something that we hoped no one would ever find out about. Like committing adultery, stealing from the register, hit and run, watching porn, lying to our kids, pretending we have the dream job in front when speaking to our parents, gambling our savings away, you know, the regular stuff.
I know none of us are perfect, then again I don’t even know what perfect is, but if I had to guess I would speculate that it means to always make the decision that is most in line with what you believe, desire, and deserve.
It’s not about always knowing what the right answer is, it’s about following what you know or believe the right answer is. If you are just ignorant to the facts by no fault of your own, then you can’t take all of the blame for participating in a situation that rewarded negative results. You did the best you could with what you knew. If you ignore the facts though, things can get complicated. If you ignore your dreams, regret can set in. If you ignore your principles, guilt will follow you. So, in these cases of knowing what you really should be doing, it is crucial that you have the mental strength and fortitude to make the decisions that are in line with your morales, ethics and goals.
How is it that couples who are in their 50’s tend to have better communication on a daily basis than couples in their 20’s? Because they have a greater dominion over their brain. In other words, their hormones and emotions are a lot more stable or subtle. They also typically have made peace with the idea that life isn’t going to get much better than this. In a sense, the average couple in their 50’s has given up on any ideas of significant progress and growth. They are living day-to-day. That’s kind of where I want you to be.
What’s beautiful about couples is their 20’s is the passion they exude. There’s typically a fiery spark to go along with those emotional rollercoasters. The ambition is still high, and even the most corporate 9-5 junkie still holds this idea of one day becoming somebody important, if only they were given the opportunity. They just need a shot. It’s the hormone fluctuations combined with the exuberant visions of success that plague our young adult relationships.
So what is the key? Obviously, to live the best of both worlds. To live with passion and desire, while operating within a set construct that respects your friends, partners, relationships and responsibilities. Yet, the only way to even fathom such a feat is by first Mastering your mind. AKA controlling your thoughts.
Now, you’re never going to be able to pick and choose what pops into your head, but you can choose what you put into your head. This is where you start to gain control, no matter where you are in life. If you want to be savvy in the world of mathematics, make it a habit of studying math. If you want to become fluent in French, immerse yourself in the language and culture. If you want to learn how to become a fiction writer, make reading and writing your life. You are what you think about and you think about what you absorb and practice most.
Let me help you by showing you where to start. You start by drawing out who you are now and who you wish to be. Not necessarily what you do and what you wish you were doing, but ask who are you and who do you wish you were?
Are you shy and introverted, but wish that you were an expert communicator? Do you work in customer service but wish you were skilled and confident enough to work in sales? Are you a hopeless romantic, but want to tap into your wild, animalistic side? Who are you and who do you wish to be?
It is only after you can answer those two questions that you can begin to work on yourself. How? By studying, practicing, and auditing yourself. You are essentially erasing parts of the old you in order to rewrite the code. You have to brainwash yourself to become someone else or someone more.
But, there is always the other option. You can stay who you are and let time tell you what to do next. Me personally, I never trusted father time or mother nature on their own. Even our parents could use a little guidance.
That being said, do not believe for one second that you shouldn’t have to undergo training in order to be the fully functioning adult you dream of. You do need the training and there is no shame in it. I wouldn’t expect you to become a qualified open heart surgeon just because your parents said they would be proud of you if you went to medical school. No, I would expect you to go through the many grueling years of education first. I would expect rigorous courses and intricate practice. I would expect hands on training, coaching, guidance and mentorship. We are talking about Mastering your underrepresented emotions to break the self-limiting mental constructs that have been accepted as normal practice passed down from generation to generation. We are talking about taking control of your destiny. This is Self-Mastery.
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Mel Jones the BEAST